Saturday, May 7, 2016

Asking Help from Your Children

From birth a parent is an authority figure; guiding, educating, loving, yelling and desiring a certain outcome in children’s behavior.  I heard, you have until age ten or so when their independent thinking takes over, and then it becomes difficult to influence thereafter.  

One of the best ways I’ve observed while being in the Big Bros. of LA program, is simply asking the youth to help you with something, especially if they are struggling with math, for instance.  You might ask for help with a related pre-algebra problem they are having.  When we are in need of others, they rise to their best.  This has a tremendous impact.  

First, they don’t feel alone or isolated, it encourages maximum effort in helping you, an adult, and you see exactly what they know.  Underneath their exterior, they’re dying to show you what they can do, let them while you show your vulnerabilities and needs.  Let them take control, trade places, if you will.  

Still, it is very crucial to exercise this at an early age when they can’t detect what’s going on.  We don’t want them seeing your act as a form of humiliation. If done at an early age, it will seem normal as they grow and they will flourish with all the
enthusiasm you have for them to succeed.  

Ask them from time to time, instead of telling them what to do all the time.  Ask and you will receive?...Something like that. :]

Friday, May 6, 2016

Ip'id: Unknowable

I have heard-- Fourteen year old Ip'id was invited to the home of Dahgi, his friend, for a gathering. But Ip'id refused, as it was uncomfortable getting to "know" others.  He felt it unnecessary. 'Why can't people just be?' Ip'id mused. 

But at Dahgi's insistence, Ip'id conceded. There were girls after all. Just as Ip'id expected, a few girls, Boonchii and Nahdi were present and knew of his studies as an ascetic. But to Ip'id's unknowing, Shri, the socialite from the next village was invited; a nosy one.  

With Dahgi by Ip'id's side, Shri approached, escorted by Boonchii and Nahdi. Shri asked, "Well, what do you study, Ip'id?" she spoke in a quick and impatient manner.
"Whatever...the teacher...assigns," Ip'id purposely labored a reply.
"Clever, aren't you? And what is that?" she looks quickly at Boonchii and Nahdi as if empowered and in control.
"Things...of the mind," he knows she doesn't care.  
"Nahdi says you sleep outside. Why?" she said disapprovingly.
"Because...I'm...tired," he said rationally.
"That's not right to sleep outside," she frowned. "And Boonchii said you don't eat lamb." 
"No, not even when its dead." The girls giggled, and Shri felt abashed. 
"Why? All of faith eat -" her face contorted roughly as affect of his silly remarks and interruption. 
"Shri! Humans are unknowable," Ip'id presented a smile, then said, "like the endless task of counting stars - search yourself to realize this truth." 
"You fool!" her face cracked with anger. "What does that mean!?!" she spat intolerantly.  
Inwardly annoyed with Shri, Ip'id stopped talking as illustration while Boonchii, Nahdi and Dahgi grinned. 
"Why don't you answer me!?!" Shri fumed uncomfortably at Ip'id. 
"He is," Dahgi observed, "or have you stopped trying to know him?"